where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
