I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
