but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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