is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This baby is an asshole
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
