im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
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