found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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