So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
