then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
