you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
