Don't you send me to vm
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
