so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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