I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize