He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
