i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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