If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
