Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
