ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
