Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
