so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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