I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
