covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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