Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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