Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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