I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You need Xanax blowdarts
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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