So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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