so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
