He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
