just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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