Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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