when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
