Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
