Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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