If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
