I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
