jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
