I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize