dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
