he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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