Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize