I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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