"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
