After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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