There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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