You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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