There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
