sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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