There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
