I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
