haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
