You can't motorboat a personality
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
