FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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