this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
