LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My dick has a subreddit
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
