Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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