the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
