explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
