this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
