Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
