You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
