WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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