I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
