its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
