Having a random hookup so left but love u
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize