I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
